i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
