He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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