i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
