You work out of a Hotel?
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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