It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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