omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
