i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Your penis caused this!
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
