Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
