I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
