butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
