My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
