Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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