Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize