I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
