Little spoons don't ask big questions
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
