I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Randomize
