every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
