this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
