well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
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