I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
