Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
This gyro tastes like lonliness
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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