If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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