Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you

(248): View more from Michigan

Gross. gingers suck

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(503): View more from Oregon

That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour

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(954): View more from Florida

We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center

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(507): View more from Minnesota

he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.

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(728): View more from

We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.

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(207): View more from Maine

Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.

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(870): View more from Arkansas

I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.

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