Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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