I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
You peed on a flamingo?!?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
