Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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