He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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