Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Dick very happy bro
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
