let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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