So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
