I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
