I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize