He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
