someone threw a dead crab at me
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
