Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize