Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
