Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
