how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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