I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
These tits shall not be calmed
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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