I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
