Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
