I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
