My balls are so social today.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
