He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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