he thought i was a dude.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
