I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
