We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
