Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
50% drunk capacity currently
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Sext me about skeletons
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
