I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i just had sex bonerless
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize