Dual....:-)
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
