I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
did i just pee glitter
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
