I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
If I die, sorry about rent.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
