update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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