i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
