Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
