i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
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