We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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