I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
