i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
