Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
