So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
