No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
