Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
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