cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
