he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
