porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
