doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
