they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
