We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
