i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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